My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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