ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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