At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
