We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
