Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
