ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
