you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
PANTIES FOUND
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