Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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