oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
