HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
