How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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