Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
