wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
