Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
