I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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