I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
