I cannot find my penis.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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