Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Someone shattered a urinal.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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