dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
