can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So many bounce houses so little time
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
