Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  We're like a lot better than the average bears

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  (312): We're like a lot better than the average bears http://tfl.nu/6x8n
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes

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  (614): If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes http://tfl.nu/ijgu
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Could a canary swim?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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  (651): Could a canary swim? (952): Last time I ever let you pet sit. http://tfl.nu/tcs0
  Replies (10) Good night (589) Bad night (3107)
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  (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

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  (310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist. http://tfl.nu/cj2p
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  nutella sex= disaster

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  (708): nutella sex= disaster http://tfl.nu/zj5e
  Replies (26) Good night (894) Bad night (5255) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1005) Bad night (11682) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

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  (403): Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend http://tfl.nu/6ul7
  Replies (5) Good night (3662) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...

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  (803): He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not... http://tfl.nu/qcdb
  Replies (13) Good night (1600) Bad night (2922) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
  Replies (4) Good night (1655) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt

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  (732): Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt http://tfl.nu/9gi1
  Replies (22) Good night (3013) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

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  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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  (248): Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier? (1-248): Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup http://tfl.nu/318d
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.

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  (646): My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole. http://tfl.nu/klnl
  Replies (11) Good night (412) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.

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  (215): I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets. http://tfl.nu/wd0k
  Replies (11) Good night (1440) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.

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  (970): I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dlw8
  Replies (5) Good night (2225) Bad night (319)

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