i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
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Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is