I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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