I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.