I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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