i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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