You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
