I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
