I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drake has all the answers
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
