The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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