the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
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It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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