your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
