dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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