Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
