I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I understand Curling. That high.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
