the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Screwed.edu
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
