i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
