I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize