Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
