You can't special order awesome
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
