Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
