life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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