New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize