You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
