I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can text with my tongue
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
