We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You are the jesus of drinking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
