Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize