i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
well you can't waste a boner
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
did i just pee glitter
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