You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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