I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
