god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
