You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize