batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
