cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
