You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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