He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
