he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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