I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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