you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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